What’s the state flower of West Virginia?A satellite dish.A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps.“Son, is your mother home?” The little boy nods yes.“Can I see her please?” The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep.“Son, do you see what your mother is doing?” The boy nods yes.“Do you know what that is?” The boy nods.“Doesn’t that bother you?”“Naaaaaaaaaaaah!”How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?If she can run faster that her brothers.Everybody from the North thinks everybody from the South is just sitting around, barefoot, wearing overalls, eating grits, watching ‘Hee Haw,’ listening to country music, drinking Jack Daniel’s, going to tractor pulls, wearing trucker caps, dipping Skoal, picking cotton, riding around in pickup trucks, having sex with our relatives, and looking for UFOs. And that’s not true --. It wasn’t great but I might break both my legs ... at least I wouldn’t be at terminal velocity when I stopped.“Your parachute?”“Yeah. Remember ... I’m older. I know I’m not immortal.”Charles patted the cushion on the left seat. “I’m sitting on mine.”The right seat had a real Cessna cushion.I slapped the tarmac, “Remember, the butt stops here.”“Boo ... hiss, hiss ... snarl,” said Abby. She shook her finger like she was reprimanding a naughty puppy. “Bad pun, Daddy. Bad pun.”My flight was two circuits with a T&G in the middle. We landed successfully.Charles suggested we take the final for ground school... “So you’ll know what you don’t know.”Abby passed the damn thing ... one hundred percent. Smart daughters ... i!ii. (in case you didn’t know ... that’s the nasty finger.)My adventurous nature had always wanted to fly. My frugal brain refused to spend the money...We have hundreds ... nay ... millions of dollars ... but spending money on me is the last thing on my mind ... Cheapskate!Now.
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